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The very nature of a female anatomy makes women more prone to certain types of injuries – Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS), for instance. While anyone can get it, narrower wrists and keyboard-based jobs are an almost sure-fire formula for CTS. Pregnancy and slinging newborns around are the frequent source of hip and back pain among women. And, according to elle.com columnist Joseph Hooper, women would rather get hands-on treatment, namely manual therapy – deep tissue work, orthopedic techniques, and so on – than a prescription for pain killers.

Are women just more touchy-feely than men? I hesitate to genderize or generalize, but yes. Some would argue that this is because women are ALLOWED to be more touchy, societally and culturally speaking. Men who like to hug and kiss in public are more likely to go to jail, for one reason or another.

I’m convinced that the need to be touched is what drives the skin care industry, the massage world, and even beauty services like hair and nail care. Of course we like to have our follicles de-plugged and buffed. Of course we like to have our calluses and hangnails smoothed, and our split ends sheared away. But really: the feeling of someone’s fingers kneading warm lather into your scalp, then running streams of tepid water through your hair? Heaven. Ditto for a warm botanical soak and scrub for the feet, or a good back-rub on the table. Extractions may not be quite so heavenly, though necessary – but all aspects of beauty service involve touch. And this experience is deeply centering, grounding, and essential to mental well-being as well as physical health.

When I myself was a full-time skin therapist, women would often wander in to the skin care center without an appointment. They might ask for a treatment, and if we were already booked, they might ask for a massage. If we were booked in that area as well, they might gaze longingly at the menu of service, and literally start working their way down the list, plaintively asking for any service we could give them on the spot. The message: give me an eyebrow tidy, a lip wax, a manicure, ANYTHING, just touch me, please.

Do men have the same desire to be touched in a non-sexual way? Again, I won’t generalize. If so, men have even fewer socially acceptable venues through which to express the need for physical contact.

I’m not much of a basketball fan, but I always stop and marvel at how much the players touch each other during an NBA game. Big, hulking, macho, multimillionaire athletes. Bruisers, literally. Yet when one of these titans falls during a play, the protocol seems to be that he holds up his arms like a toppled toddler. One or more of his teammates will sprint over, tenderly take his hands, and HELP HIM UP TO HIS FEET, like a cherished granny who’s unsteady on her pins. There is also a lot of head-rubbing, impromptu hugging (usually at a full run down the court) and, of course, high-fiving, chest-bouncing and butt-patting during a game. This is a rare display of male vulnerability and intimacy, uniquely permissible within the brutally macho world of pro sports. We all know that out on the street, this kind of behavior would result in all sorts of humiliation from other guys.

Men are such mysterious, delicate creatures. Meanwhile, women make no apology, and pay for professional touch. Any way we can get it.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 12th, 2010 at 10:38 am and is filed under under my skin with jane wurwand, founder of dermalogica.